This time last year I was packing my new life in one suitcase. I was taping up boxes of favourite belongings knowing that I needed to leave them aside with my old life in Auckland. My feet were itchy and each night consisted of restless sleep, a countdown ticking in my mind and my imagination going wild of the adventures to come.
Holding on to memories and since settling in London, I have felt extreme pangs of heartache. I miss my parents, my whole family; my grandma, cousins, sister, nephew and then of course all my friends who also branch into that category.
At the beginning of this week I had to say “see you later” to someone who I have grown to enjoy starting every day and ending each day with; every night. A friend, a recognised soul, somebody I can describe as my partner in crime.
It wasn’t easy turning my back and walking out of Heathrow airport, knowing that in a couple of hours he would embark on a flight back to the other side of the world; for 5 excruciating weeks. On my way home, not even the clear, candyfloss pink sunset or Cockfosters managed to turn my frown upside down.
The best way to describe how I felt were read in the words in Thought Catalog’s post “What it feels like to miss someone” and it goes like this…
And in reality, if you really think about it, to miss someone is to sort of miss a part of yourself. You miss yourself with that person. You miss who they made you become. You became alive. You became ecstatic; enchanted; jubilant. You became the best form of yourself. And then out of nowhere.. you weren’t you. Suddenly, you became someone that you weren’t familiar with.
In my reality, with a love for travel; that is the price that has to be paid. Each day you encounter people that can become a walk in your life; no matter how large or insignificant. Moments become memories, friends can become enemies but I suppose what is most significant is that strangers can be trusted as lovers and others can become family.
Anyone and everyone; and most importantly you, plays a part in this life.
Oh how grateful I am to have so many amazing people to miss!